Soliloquy

For the longest time, I've attempted to write fiction, only to fail miserably. This has resulted in a number of terrible jokes in the life-is-stranger-than-fiction genre.

Let me try and break this down - 

I could imagine a storyline, characters in it, a narrative, a geographical or sociopolitical setting, a theme, and more. 

I begin writing, somewhere down the line, I am engulfed by the feeling that I am not doing complete justice to all the characters. Their reactions are not fleshed out, they are merely responding. People don't just respond, all their reactions are the end result of a myriad of factors. I can't get over the fact that I'm now attempting to speak for people I don't fully know. 

When you are done rolling your eyes at me, I haven't missed the irony. I created them, but then they got too real for me too quickly. 

I drop their story like a hot potato. 

This is the general timeline of me having a go at fiction. 

Not to use the term 'phobia' lightly, but commitment hasn't always been my strongest suit when it comes to people. I am shoddy at keeping in touch, I run out of people's personal matters the moment I spot an exit, I tend to not divulge too many details about myself, and I hit backspace about four times right now because I wasn't comfortable putting these details down on my blog. 

I am beginning to comprehend that this tendency may be what hinders me from being able to write fiction. 

Postgrad in English Studies, worked/works in the media, writes content and edits magazines for a living, have published in online and print magazines, you get the idea, writing is my line of work. 

Yet, my fear of getting too involved with human beings is so monumental, that I'm willing to give up on a necessary skill. Maybe I should attempt writing about dogs or cyborgs?