beef ban? is that all it is?

“Moving onto the section of what has been banned in India today, state x has banned the right to freedom of thought - forget expression - and any pretense of equal rights for all. State y has banned sensibility.”

This is a generic gist of what news sounds like, right now. There have been many controversial bans that have made respective communities/sympathizers up in arms trying to drive some sense into the perpetrators of the ban. I’m not going to talk about the political or monetary gain that these perpetrators enjoy, or about what is evidently going to climax into India being the country of the ‘hindus’ and all the consequences that’ll be derived from it.  Beef ban. Appropriately offensive to everybody but one community? Yes. But that’s not all. When the President finally signed a bill that had been pending for twenty whole years for good reason, did anybody consider entire sections of Maharashtra whose quality of life would take a big hit as a result of it?

The slaughtering of cows and calves had been banned way back in 1976, under the Animal Preservation (amendment) Bill, but buffalo, bull and bullocks were still a huge source of business, both export and import, for a large section of society. Thirty-three operational abattoirs, many more illegal slaughterhouses, and a lot of independent slaughterers all came to a halt on March 4, this year. The estimated revenue loss, due to beef ban, is a whopping 10,000 crores. These are numbers that show you how horrible the effects of this entirely unnecessary ban are.

Beef has always been the cheapest meat available in India. Hence this featured, whenever possible, in a large number of households. Since widely available beef meat has now disappeared off the market, the demand for other meat rises. And this automatically calls for a surge in its pricing. Where does this leave the people who aren’t upper middle class? With all the expenses that an average middle class family faces, meat is going to be another rarity in their lives. And the poor, well, when have we ever really considered the effect of religious fanaticism on them?

There are muslims, Christians, other minorities and even multiple sects of hindus, not to mention the nonbelievers who are somehow exempt from all this, who consume beef. For the sake of one ‘majority’, when dividing people based on their religions, an important part of life of the rest has been taken away. How do I even begin to explain the significance of the qualifiers? In a ‘secular’ country like India, in a very big state, everybody has been banned from eating a particular food item, to cater to the needs of the group of people who make the claim of gomatha. Say, if in a small city, somewhere in India, where the population register shows that Muslims are larger in number, they decided to enforce the rule of no eating in public during Ramadan, do we even need to talk about the gory outcome of that?

Among a million other questions that pop up in our minds daily, owing to the claims made by right wing fanatics on national television and otherwise, one particularly disturbing one is, inspite of all claims of unity in diversity and every other related cliché, as a non-fanatic hindu, will I ever be heard or considered. Without naming names, let’s just say that this question was the beginning of the end for a lot. Beef ban is a life choice an irrationally opinionated bully made for everybody, and gomatha, is their entirely absurd excuse.

weddings and marriages

Social media is increasingly becoming a promising source of manic reaction-inducing content. I look around me, at my ‘friends’, and I see high-resolution pictures, one after the other, of them getting hitched. Or hooked. Noose around the neck. Taking the plunge (…), or any of those wonderful euphemisms for it.

I am 22, so you can probably understand my consternation at this. When the opening act of the series happened, I figured it was societal pressure, commitments, etc. Then came another one, and then another one, till it became an all too common occurrence.

I would have loved to say that this was not restricted to any one geopolitical setting, but it unfortunately is. The beautiful land of the literate, the leftists, and the beef-eaters. Except for exactly one of those husband and wife pictures that had me hyperventilating, every other one belonged to a mallu. And figuring out their native root wasn’t a toughie, because of all the yellow. The girl is covered from head to a little below the waist in yellow. Blinding, heavy, expensive, yellow. The arrangement of hundreds of chains, in increasing order of their lengths, the waist band, the rings, the earrings, the armlets, the intricate network of yellow that connects your ear to your head to your hair, and everything else, so wonderfully done, exactly the way we see them in jewelry shop ads, on tv! Except instead of a board or banner that proclaims the name of the brand, it is her face.

So what, precisely, does one achieve from this display? Exactly when did this become classy?

Is display of wealth the intention? Then why don’t you just handover a huge block of gold to the groom, in the presence of the wedding guests? Yes, I am implying that what is done now is only as classy and cultured and civilized as this is. Oh by the way, this alternative saves you a whole lot of making charges!

Just some stats that I came across recently: in the financial year of 2011-2012, around 250000 kilos of gold was bought, in Kerala. And on an average, a new jewelry shop opened once every seven days. I am just going to let that sit there.

It is a common Indian practice to overshoot weddings. Each one’s has to always be a step above what they can actually afford. Everybody wants magnificent weddings, each wedding almost happens with a secondary intention of breaking some sort of a record.  All your life’s worth goes into investing in this. And you even measure your status and standing in your respective societies, on the basis of the spectacle that you arrange for. Is it any wonder that parents frown upon the concept of remarriages? Can you imagine the financial strain they will be put through? I am aware that I am belittling the situation. But we cant deny the fact that all this adds to the social pressure, or ‘obligation’ the girl would experience, when she tries breaking away from a relationship that doesn’t suit her, or even one that hurts her.

It is time that we stop focusing on making weddings the highlight of our lives. A marriage is enough pressure on its own. Creating a meaningful emotional, physical, and spiritual connection, developing the ability to compromise, knowing how to give in and how to respect, and preparing yourself for the onset of a whole lot of fun, is what you should be doing. Destination weddings, mounds of gold, excellent food, and the biggest guest list are all of no importance, and honestly, of no real significance. This is one of those cases when we can say that it is nothing but abject materialism, to consider otherwise. Though, yes, a lot of those instincts are society-instilled in us.

To all of my friends who still give me the jitters, here’s wishing you a wonderful married life, and here’s hoping that when it is your chance to organize the wedding, you make a difference.

let's censor 'em all.

Disclaimer for all those upholding the Indian morality and culture: this article has content that may be offensive to those who don’t get the concepts of free speech, satire, consenting adults, and entertainment.

I know we are back on the morality debate, but nothing seems to be left alone by the ones who consider themselves sanctimonious. I have a good idea of what the word after that should be.

AIB Knockout, a roast that made it to the headlines, and is now the talk of the country, for astoundingly insane reasons. 10 comedians, and one roast master, made fun of two established artists and each other, in front of 4000 people, and were watched by another 8 million or so, on YouTube. This is not a form of comedy they developed. They were all consenting adults who laughed at themselves, profanity or not, and were also watched by consenting adults.

It did surprise me that our country and the people who uphold the ‘moral values’ inherent to our country digested this, without comment. But after all how long does a bubble last? Complaints of desecration of the pious minds of the youth, inappropriate content for the women, being antichrist (!!!), and what not, sprouted immediately.

A good number of people think it is stupid to raise such a hue and cry over this, a lot of them think they need to perform some sort of cleanse for all and sundry who were associated with this in any manner, and then there are the wonderful politicians who are happily travelling on the middle ground, while still making their preferred course of action clear.

We’ll move on to the rant after bringing to notice yet another wonderful development regarding yet another phenomenon that involves consenting adults. The Hindu mahasabha will be marrying off any couple they find on Valentine’s Day. Whoever it is will be converted to Hinduism; they are going to work hard and overcome the patriarchal trait in their blood that dictates that the girl be converted to the guy’s religion. And while at it, they also say that it is okay to convert people because every Indian is a Hindu anyway.

So forget the journey downhill, we are looking at going back to the cavemen stage where the men protected the women while she was pregnant or menstruating, from wild animals. Except the women are permanently thought of being as ‘weak’, and the general public have taken the place of wild animals.

Inappropriate clothing, non asli-indian-naari behavior, unwillingness to call some creep bhaiyya, nightclubs, even Chinese food, and the like are blamed when a woman is raped. It is ultimately her fault. We shall sit here and negotiate with the man, and decide what is to be done while she fights for life. But here comes a show that makes fun of people who are happy to be made fun of. Let’s register complaints against them, and trample all over their creativity and effort, because we think Balika Vadhu and Kasauti Zindagi ki are what the Indian youth should be watching. Oh! Also the Big Boss. Oh! And Roadies. It is also alright to read the Times Of India, when they make ‘news’ out of female breasts. I don’t even have legitimate counter arguments for the people who were offended (after they either bought tickets for it, or watched it on YouTube), because there are no sensible arguments being made by them. Not a single one.

There genuinely isn’t one retort I can think of, with regards to the entirely sensible statement made by the hindu mahasabha. Though, I don’t know why no parents are offended by this, and are registering complaints against them because they are worried for their kids. What happened to the other religious organizations? Do they have nothing to say about their people being forcefully converted? Why? Because now it deals with the taboo of ‘couples’?

I’ve always thought that our priorities were skewed. But this is taking it to a whole new level.